The Scary Cancer Scare - Part 1

I’ve always felt sad for people with cancer. It was one of those illnesses that didn’t always have a happy ending. Something I would not wish on anyone. I weep for my children when they are not well with a cold, worry for my Mum when she wasn’t feeling well and wish my Dad would take care of his health a bit more than he is. Little did I know, but it seems I would be the one who would be going through a cancer scare. It was a time in my life when I learned to appreciate life and not take anything for granted.

The Discovery

I was in the shower, getting ready for work when I felt a sharp pain coming from my left breast. I then discovered that the pain came from a lump. I didn’t allow myself to get too worried about it because I knew that a lump does not always mean cancer, it could just be a lump. But, I thought it was a good idea to get it checked by a doctor. I made an appointment and went to see the doctor during my lunch break.

The Doctor

The doctor checked the lump and told me to get an ultrasound done at the Alfred Hospital, just to be on the safe side. She told me not to worry because sometimes it is just a lump but an ultrasound would be able to determine that. However, she also went through some information about lumps and breast cancers and also said that if the ultrasound cannot determine what the lump is, I may require a biopsy. I asked her what was involved in a biopsy and she told me that they would have to insert a thick needle with a button on it, into my breast, and take some tissue samples of the lump. The tissue samples would then be sent to a lab for testing and they will be able to find out whether it contains cancer cells or whether it is just a lump. However, she reassured me that in most cases, an ultrasound is all that is required. I told her that I was terrified of needles. She assured me that the biopsy needle would not hurt as they will give me some anaesthetic to ensure I would not feel any pain. I would just feel the pressure of the biopsy needle. I asked her whether they can just put me to sleep when they do it, but she said that is not required. I remember wishing it was a requirement.

The First Ultrasound

Luckily, the Alfred Hospital was only a short walking distance from the office so I made an appointment during my lunchbreak and took a stroll down St Kilda Road. The technician that performed the Ultrasound took measurements of the lump, some still shots and checked for other lumps. It was uncomfortable but I had already given birth to my oldest son and this is not as uncomfortable as childbirth. They told me that the results would be sent to my doctor who will give me a call to discuss what they’ve found. I prayed that it was just a lump and that this ultrasound would confirm that.

The Call

I will never forget the call I received that evening. I had just picked up my son from childcare and was making him dinner. My son was playing on the rug in front of the television; he had just started to talk and was at such an adorable age.
“Jelvie, this is Felicity, from the St Kilda Rd Clinic”, the doctor said, “I have the results from your ultrasound”.
I thought it was a bit late for the doctor to call, it was around 6pm, so she either had really good news or really bad new.
“Hi Felicity”, I replied, “Is it good news or bad news?”
“Well, the good news is, we don’t know whether it is cancer or not, but the bad news is, you will need to get a biopsy so we can be sure”, she replied.
“So, it’s not just a lump, it could still be cancer?” I replied, at this stage I was getting upset and my eyes were tearing but I turned my back to my son, I didn’t want him to see me upset.
“Look Jelvie, why don’t you come and see me tomorrow afternoon and we will have a chat about it”, the doctor said. She then told me that she had made an appointment for me to see her at 4pm.
All I could manage to say was “Ok, no worries, thank you”. Then I hung up.

The Worst Feeling

I turned around and looked at my son. He was playing and then he looked up and smiled at me. I tried smiling back but couldn’t control the tears so I cried while stirring his dinner. I was starting to think about all the things I would miss out on if I died of breast cancer. All the smiles I wouldn’t be able to see, all the kisses and hugs I would no longer receive, not being there for his first day at school, not seeing him through his teenage years…it was just heartbreaking. I thought about my son looking for me only to find that I was no longer there for him. That was the worst feeling. I called my husband. He told me to stay positive. He said at least the biopsy would determine what the lump is and we can just deal with it. I didn’t sleep that night. I thought, if it wasn’t cancer, they should already be able to tell.

To be continued...