After 3 years of marriage, my husband and I decided that it was time we extended our family. No, we didn’t get a puppy; instead we decided to have a baby. As a couple, we felt we were emotionally and financially ready to take this next step into our relationship. I was also ready for a change career-wise and thought a year’s maternity leave would give me a chance to see what else is out there for me.
My only condition was that we got to go on a little round-the-world trip to the cities I’ve always wanted to visit. So off we went on a 5 week trip to New York, London, Paris, Madrid, Rome, Singapore, Jakarta, Surabaya and Yogyakarta. On the 2nd day after our return to Melbourne, I found out that I was pregnant. After a visit to the doctor, it was confirmed that I was 5 weeks pregnant (my friends joke that our oldest son was conceived in New York). Then it hit me, throughout our trip, I kept complaining of back pain, I slept through a boat ride in Singapore and by the time we got to Indonesia, I would just fall asleep during the day and didn’t know why. Then there was also the throwing up in Jakarta and I was always eating and wanting more food (although some would argue that I had a strong appetite even when I am not pregnant). I also remember having more arguments with my husband and thinking back, it must have been all the hormones and mood swings which makes it worse.
He's here!!!
The day finally arrived; I was at Frances Perry in Carlton and had just given birth to a baby boy. He was healthy, everything was alright and life as we know would never be the same because we had been given a precious gift to take care of and he would depend on us and we were responsible for him. After 5 days at the hospital, we took our baby home and placed him in his cot, in the nursery we had prepared for him as we waited for his arrival. The first few weeks were emotionally and physically challenging. We were both exhausted as our baby would wake up every 2-3 hours for a feed. My husband would get up to pick up the baby and bring him to me to feed and put him back in his cot. I remember by the third week, I was so tired that I questioned whether the baby knew just how tired we were (talk about high expectations). My husband brought me back down to earth and calmly reminded me that our baby was depending on me to feed him and this phase would pass and it will get better. He was right though, everything got easier and we soon got back into 6-7 hours of sleep. We watched our baby grow and develop into a toddler and a little boy who is turning 4 in June.
Baby, you’ve changed my world…
My husband tells everyone that it’s true what people say. The very first time you hold your baby in your arms, you realise that life will never be the same.
So to give you a few examples, I have listed the following changes you may experience once your bundle of joy enters the world:
Weekends
Before baby
After a long week at work, my husband and I would always spend our weekend going to dinner at a new or favourite restaurant, watch a new film at the cinemas (we walked in once and realised we had seen all the movies that were showing), visiting friends/family, having friends/family over, throwing parties, sleeping in, watching DVDs all day or just going out spontaneously.
After baby
Catch up on sleep where possible, catch up on housework, rent a DVD and sometimes would actually get to watch the whole film without pausing, visit family or have them come over so that they can hold the baby and you are free to take a nap or catch up on housework. Waking up early because no matter what time the baby goes to sleep, he will wake up at the same time every morning. There was no going out spontaneously, everything was planned. Then, just to ensure all your plans go out the window, the moment you think you're ready to go, the baby would need a nappy change or he would vomit on his clothes or on your clothes or both.
Dining out
Before baby
Anywhere, anytime. Morning, noon and night.
After baby
Is the restaurant family friendly? Can we fit the pram next to our table? Is there a baby room incase we need to change his nappy? What if I need to feed him, will people be uncomfortable?
Going out
Before baby
Got my handbag…let’s go!!!
After baby
Baby bag (which contains nappies, wipes, change-mat, spare clothes, feeding cover), bottle bag, pram, blanket, toys…oh and last but not least, my handbag.
The silver lining
Even though the above examples may seem overwhelming and may put a negative spin on having a baby, don’t be discouraged because things do get better. It gets much easier as your baby gets older. Don’t forget all the benefits you get back from them, their smile, their breathtaking hugs, their kisses and cuddles and their unconditional love. You will never know the feeling until you can feel them for yourself. And once you have felt it, you will never be the same and you will never want to be without it. That is why they say having a baby is a life-changing experience. My son asked me “Mummy, are you ok?” I answered, “No, my back is sore”. To which he replied “Well…let me give you a cuddle, so that you will feel better”.
Sure, the soreness did not go away but no painkiller can ever compete with that cuddle.
My only condition was that we got to go on a little round-the-world trip to the cities I’ve always wanted to visit. So off we went on a 5 week trip to New York, London, Paris, Madrid, Rome, Singapore, Jakarta, Surabaya and Yogyakarta. On the 2nd day after our return to Melbourne, I found out that I was pregnant. After a visit to the doctor, it was confirmed that I was 5 weeks pregnant (my friends joke that our oldest son was conceived in New York). Then it hit me, throughout our trip, I kept complaining of back pain, I slept through a boat ride in Singapore and by the time we got to Indonesia, I would just fall asleep during the day and didn’t know why. Then there was also the throwing up in Jakarta and I was always eating and wanting more food (although some would argue that I had a strong appetite even when I am not pregnant). I also remember having more arguments with my husband and thinking back, it must have been all the hormones and mood swings which makes it worse.
He's here!!!
The day finally arrived; I was at Frances Perry in Carlton and had just given birth to a baby boy. He was healthy, everything was alright and life as we know would never be the same because we had been given a precious gift to take care of and he would depend on us and we were responsible for him. After 5 days at the hospital, we took our baby home and placed him in his cot, in the nursery we had prepared for him as we waited for his arrival. The first few weeks were emotionally and physically challenging. We were both exhausted as our baby would wake up every 2-3 hours for a feed. My husband would get up to pick up the baby and bring him to me to feed and put him back in his cot. I remember by the third week, I was so tired that I questioned whether the baby knew just how tired we were (talk about high expectations). My husband brought me back down to earth and calmly reminded me that our baby was depending on me to feed him and this phase would pass and it will get better. He was right though, everything got easier and we soon got back into 6-7 hours of sleep. We watched our baby grow and develop into a toddler and a little boy who is turning 4 in June.
Baby, you’ve changed my world…
My husband tells everyone that it’s true what people say. The very first time you hold your baby in your arms, you realise that life will never be the same.
So to give you a few examples, I have listed the following changes you may experience once your bundle of joy enters the world:
Weekends
Before baby
After a long week at work, my husband and I would always spend our weekend going to dinner at a new or favourite restaurant, watch a new film at the cinemas (we walked in once and realised we had seen all the movies that were showing), visiting friends/family, having friends/family over, throwing parties, sleeping in, watching DVDs all day or just going out spontaneously.
After baby
Catch up on sleep where possible, catch up on housework, rent a DVD and sometimes would actually get to watch the whole film without pausing, visit family or have them come over so that they can hold the baby and you are free to take a nap or catch up on housework. Waking up early because no matter what time the baby goes to sleep, he will wake up at the same time every morning. There was no going out spontaneously, everything was planned. Then, just to ensure all your plans go out the window, the moment you think you're ready to go, the baby would need a nappy change or he would vomit on his clothes or on your clothes or both.
Dining out
Before baby
Anywhere, anytime. Morning, noon and night.
After baby
Is the restaurant family friendly? Can we fit the pram next to our table? Is there a baby room incase we need to change his nappy? What if I need to feed him, will people be uncomfortable?
Going out
Before baby
Got my handbag…let’s go!!!
After baby
Baby bag (which contains nappies, wipes, change-mat, spare clothes, feeding cover), bottle bag, pram, blanket, toys…oh and last but not least, my handbag.
The silver lining
Even though the above examples may seem overwhelming and may put a negative spin on having a baby, don’t be discouraged because things do get better. It gets much easier as your baby gets older. Don’t forget all the benefits you get back from them, their smile, their breathtaking hugs, their kisses and cuddles and their unconditional love. You will never know the feeling until you can feel them for yourself. And once you have felt it, you will never be the same and you will never want to be without it. That is why they say having a baby is a life-changing experience. My son asked me “Mummy, are you ok?” I answered, “No, my back is sore”. To which he replied “Well…let me give you a cuddle, so that you will feel better”.
Sure, the soreness did not go away but no painkiller can ever compete with that cuddle.
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